Throw Down the Sword

WISHBONE ASH - Argus (1972)

WARNING: Rant ahead! Something that bugs the fuck outta me about thee scores of "genre-hopping" bands of today is the lack of cohesiveness exhibited by 'em. It's like they build their ditties in little blocks, like, "here's the folky part... next up... a few doom metal riffs, followed by a plunge into a horn-laden ska section... cool, no?" NO!! It's not cool!! It's schizo, contrived, but most of all, smacks of a band without an identity. Even worse, by incorporating this rapid switch of the radio dial style of songwriting, I get the feeling that these combos are worried about defying categorization so that if a new trend rears its fickle head, they can easily jump on board. These hacks would do themselves a gargantuan favor by looking to grandaddies of multi-genre-lization like Wishbone Ash.

Please do note "post-rock" (stupidest term ever-- I don't think anything has come along to replace rock just yet) Shit Band X with a skin-flute player and heads fulla influences thoust hasn't learned how to properly utilize, Wishbone Ash, despite having wide and varied inspirations, combined all of 'em seamlessly. You'll hear echoes of ancient folk hymns, excursions into psychedelia, poppy vocal harmonies... even a sword & sorcery themed "medieval trilogy." And, Lest I Forget, majestic and soaring twin-guitar harmonies that gave boners to everyone from Phil Lynott to Steve Harris. What you hear most of all though, is a band that had an immediately identifable sound. No ironic posing, no cut-and-paste bullshit.

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GOAT HORN - Voyage to Nowhere (2001)

Straight outta Pembroke, Ontario, Kanüda came Metal Warriors Goat Horn. Comprised of Mssrs. Jason Decay (bass/vox), Brandon Wars (Guitars) and Steel Rider (battery), their mission to earn thee crown of "Canada's Drunkest Band" and to ensure many a case of whiplash among headbangers worldwide was a short but successful one (relatively speaking). "Voyage," their self-released first foray into immortalizing their neck-snapping savagery, may have thee most perfect production I've ever heard on a metal record. All the levels are buried deep in the red, and they manage to channel both "Forest of Equillibrium"-era Cathedral with thee immaculately primal deathrash of fellow countrymen, Slaughter. Decay's ragged, "everydude" yelps have a slightly deathly timbre, and project enough attitude to compete with the Thicker Than The Average "American Idol" Fan riffage laid down by Wars (fitting nom de guerre?). One will also detect echoes of NWOBHM stalwarts like Priest and Maiden... in short, these motherfuckers were all about the Metal.

They would release one more full-length ("Storming the Gates"... BUY OR DIE!!) and an EP ("Threatening Force") before hanging up the denim and leather, only to re-emerge as Cauldron a short time later, where they've injected more thrash influences (do check 'em out). For me, though, their 32-minute debut I've ranted 'n' raved about here, imbued as it is with thee genius of boozy idiot-savants, is their finest hour (so far...).

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