Leady to Lock 'n' Loll?

LOUDNESS - Disillusion (1984)

So here's the scene: it's 1985 (???, the drugs are finally catching up with me), and three scraggly, denim-attired teenagers are off to see their then-heroes, Thee Crüe, rip into an hour or so of their dime store brand of costumed rebellion. They were completely ignorant of thee Nipponese opening act-- an outfit by thee handle of "Loudness" (they were also unaware of thee utter suckage of Motley's "Theater of Pain," and their fruity tour garb, but I digress). Imagine our surprise when a pint-sized dude jumped outta thee darkness, with hair that made him stand at least six feet tall (you do the math), screaming, "Harrrrrrro, Muddddaaas!!" We didn't know whether to laugh or pump or fists--- that is, until they launched into a little number that went something like, "Locky Loll Clazy Nights," then we wuz hooked. Turns out it was called "Crazy Nights," and appeared on their semi-hit LP, "Thunder in the East," as fine a slab of sugar-coated pop metal as has ever been released-- but far from their magnum opus. That title belongs to 1984's "Disillusion."

The band's first few records (The Birthday Eve, Devil's Soldiers, Law of Devil's Land) were sung entirely in Japanese, and had kinda patchy tunesmithing, but this is where they got everything right. Check out "Butterfly"-- the same sorta mini-epic Rush had perfected on "A Farewell to Kings," complete with chiming, Lifeson-esque arpeggios and over-miked (and some would say, "overused") toms... yet it has an atmosphere that still sounds so completely alien... brilliant! Particularly exhilarating is thee inhuman shredding of Fret Wizard Arkira Takasaki-- the man sounds like he's got ten fingers on each hand! He also has a knack for knowing when to lay back before he dumps a few tons of complex riffage on your sorry ass. His storming style is what adds (much) needed color and urgency to lazy, KISS-style arena anthems like "Crazy Doctor" and "Satisfaction Guaranteed," morphing what woulda been harmless throwaways into sublime examples of classic eighties metal-- and make no mistake: the material on this beast is 100% metal, no hairspray required (or wanted).

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G.A.T.E.S. - Total Death (2005)

Usually about the time I find myself getting sick to death of all things Japan, a blistering combo like G.A.T.E.S. comes along and reaffirms their status as perhaps thee Greatest Musical Nation on Thee Planet. Made up of two ex-members of Church of Misery and Coffins (Vokillist Yoshiakki Negishi and bassist Tatsu Mikami), as well as axeman Masayasu Futatsugi (Life, Antiauthorize) and sticksman Fukawa (also of Sonic Flower, Bleed for Pain & Desperate Corruption), they play a bitchin' brand of Motörhrash not unlike a beefier Death Side. "Total Death" compiles everything they had recorded up to its release, including a devastating version of thee Mighty 'head's "Overkill."

Need I say more?

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