CONSUMERS - All My Friends Are Dead

Call me a Luddite, but things plain ain't as good as they used to be-- and that's coming from a guy who hates alla that "old dude" talk. I actually do make an attempt, (however feeble) to stay on top of what the "kids" are diggin' these daze... and as I should I guess, I end up scratchin' my old cranium wonderin' what the fuck all the fuss is all about. I certainly don't feel threatened by the hippin' & hoppin' or the dorks making beeps with their laptops. I'm all for it, ya understand-- if that's what gets ya laid in these culturally declining years, so be it. On the other end of the spectrum, I get why youse old rock 'n' rollers find them little bastards with the floppy bangs and eyeliner repulsive... but hey, remember when y'all didn't have a particularly crisp identity yourselves? Take a look back at some of your high school pix to refresh yer memory if'n ya don't believe me.

Anyhoo, I'm not preaching tolerance on either side-- what does it matter when R&R is little more than a moribund art form? Pretty soon-- if it hasn't already happened-- we rockers will be relegated to the same abyss that jazzbos and blues fanatics dwell in. Outdated... Outta touch... Luddites. That doesn't change the fact that there's nothing being released today as good as the Groundhogs, Thin Lizzy, Electric Eels or Discharge. As Lester Bangs once put it: "That's not nostalgia-- it's good taste."

{As I'm sure many of you already have, ignore the preceding 251 words; That's where the "blogging" part of this site comes in-- I heard somewhere that you're supposed to contribute "personal thoughts" on these things.}

Can't say I've heard any recent punkers that are worthy of carrying the Consumers guitar cases, either. Formed in Thee Year of Punk, 1977, in Phoenix, Arizona by three krautrock freaks -- guitarists Paul Cutler and Mikey Borens, along with vocalist David Wiley, the Consumers played no-frills punk rock that may or may not've been the birth of hardcore. Thirty years hasn't diminished the god-like power of their vicious crud one smidgen. I would go so far as to opine that the only way you couldn't/wouldn't recognize the genius of "All My Friends" is if you're one of them Mall-Punk types that stick yer chest out further when you've got My Chemical Romance blarin' limply on yer Ipod (Oops! Old Dude Talk). Much like Australia's Sick Things, their sound was primitive and thuggish, recorded in an 8-track demo studio that thankfully allowed the seething violence to explode outta yer speakers. This shit still sounds dangerous-- every bit as hair-raising as the first time Thee Ig carved himself up with a broken bottle.

Cutler formed 45 Grave after the Consumers' demise in '78 -- a band I have little to no use for (their re-recordings of Consumers ditties in particular), but I likes to provide the unnecessary details, as ya know.

Look in the comments, dickweed.